Pay now or later..

When we don't pay attention.

The only thing worth paying.

We end up paying later don't we?

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We pay for the cream.

But we don't pay attention to where it's going.

Inside our bodies.

That isn't burning it off.

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Next thing we know... we're carrying that cream in our bodies.

As well as that anger.

Or resentment.

Or grief.

Everything we pay no attention to.

Until it's all inside us.

Swishing around causing us discomfort and often health issues.

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Right now I feel like I'm small.

Rejected.

And the only person who accepts me is God.

And the loving faces of God.

People who love me.

The rare small circled few.

And the rest of the world... notices not who i am.

What I could give to them.

Or what I am giving.

This could be what God feels sometimes.

That God gives to a thankless heart.

I'm sorry God if I take without giving back.

I love you.

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Last night there was this self loathing girl who rejected me.

It felt hurtful.

But I could see where her actions came from.

If you reject yourself.

You end up rejecting others too.